We West Texas Dads Can Deliver the Best (and Worst?) Dad Jokes

Get ready to groan, grin, and/or laugh your butt off with some good ole West Texas Dad jokes just in time for Father’s Day. Thank you to my friends and listeners for sharing their "dad jokes."

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Father’s Day is near, and you know what that means, It's time to brace yourself for the cheesiest, punniest, eye-rolliest dad jokes this side of the Pecos! As someone who considers himself a seasoned professional in the fine art of dad joke delivery (yes, I’ve got a lifetime membership to the Cornball Comedy Club), I felt it was my duty to gather up some of the best dad jokes sent in by you, our awesome listeners.

Now that my kids are grown and out of the house, my jokes don’t always land like they used to. When I unleash a new one, my wife Donna just sighs and walks out of the room. So instead of letting these zingers go to waste, I figured I’d share them with y’all, and maybe you can pass them along to your kids, grandkids, or unsuspecting coworkers.

Fair warning: use these jokes responsibly. Too many dad jokes in one sitting may result in excessive groaning, eye-rolling, or even spontaneous pun battles. Let’s dive in.

The “Pun-try” Collection (Kayla Williams). Kayla really brought the pun game:

• Do you know where I store all my dad jokes? In the pun-try.
• Do you think songbirds get mad at hummingbirds because they don’t know the words?
• Why do bees have sticky hair? ’Cause they use a honeycomb.
• If you get cold, stand in the corner—it’s 90 degrees.
• A lion would never play golf… but a tiger would.

Grocery Store Giggles (Kevin Brenek)

• Every time I buy a gallon of milk, the cashier asks if I want it in a bag. I always say, “Nah, just leave it in the carton.”

Icy Laughs (Diane Treadwell)

• What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum?
  He has a meltdown.

Sad but True (Taylor Brooks)

• Why is the calendar so sad? Because its days are numbered.

One for the Bar Crowd (Clay Carabajal)

• A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we’ve got a drink named after you!” The screwdriver replies, “You have a drink named Steve?”

Leftovers, Anyone? (Clarence Hart)

• The waiter asks, “Sir, would you like a box for those leftovers?” Dad replies: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”

Rock Solid Humor (Tom Bradley)

• Geology is important. It teaches us not to take everything for granite.

Eye-Popping Puns (Jon Julien)

• Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into his lens-grinding machine?
  He made a spectacle out of himself.

Paint Me a Laugh (John Caswell)

• What does a painter do when he gets cold? He puts on a second coat.

True Love Rings (Chris Villalobos)

• How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.

Read More: Motorized Recliners: A Fun Gift Idea For Dads This Father's Day

Your turn, Dad, now it’s your time to shine. Try out a few of these groan-worthy gems at the Father’s Day barbecue, at the dinner table, or while you're pretending not to nap in the recliner. And if you've got your own dad joke, share it with us, we just might add it to next year’s lineup.

Stay tuned for my personal Dad Joke Gallery. These are my faves I dust off and use every year. Until then, keep the laughs coming, and Happy Father’s Day Y'all!