Debunking the Abilene Paradox Why My City Deserves So Much Better

Over the weekend the wife and I stopped off at garage sale near my dad's house and for five dollars they were selling a book that has never sat well with me, the "Abilene Paradox" by the late Professor Jerry B. Harvey. As a proud West Texan I've always defended Abilene, Texas because I believe this gave Abilene a bad "vibe."

For those unfamiliar, the Abilene Paradox describes a situation where a group of people agree to do something that none of them actually want to do, simply because they "assume" the others want to do it. In Harvey’s scenario, a family takes a long, hot drive to Abilene for a meal, only to realize afterward that no one really wanted to go in the first place.

I get the theory. But what I don’t get is why Abilene had to take the fall for it.

The Real Story Behind this Texas City Paradox

Harvey wasn’t just pulling a random town name out of the air, turns out, he had been to Abilene a few times. His wife was from Coleman, Texas (about 50 miles south of Abilene), and one Sunday, they decided to take a drive into town for lunch.

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So, What Really Happened That Hot Texas Day?

• It was a brutally hot Texas day.
• They made the drive in a pickup truck with no air conditioning.
• West Texas was kicking up a dust storm, and the air was thick with red dirt.
• The restaurant they chose, a cafeteria, turned out to be underwhelming at best.
• The drive back was just as miserable as the drive there.

And when they got home, someone finally spoke up:
"I didn’t even want to go in the first place, I just thought y’all wanted to go!"
Then another admitted the same. And another. And another. Boom. The Abilene Paradox was born. All because of one bad meal and a hot, dusty ride.

Why Pick on Abilene, Texas?

Let’s get one thing straight, Abilene had nothing to do with their bad experience. The city didn’t force them to come, it didn’t cook the meal, and it sure didn’t crank up the Texas heat that day. Yet, decades later, Abilene’s name is still tied to a concept about poor decision-making and this book at a garage sale got me thinking about it again.

The Real Abilene Texas vs. The Paradox’s Abilene

Harvey’s Abilene: A regretful mistake, a long miserable drive, and a bad meal.
The Real Abilene: A thriving, family-friendly city full of incredible food, strong communities, and a rich history.

Had they picked Joe Allen’s, Larry’s Better Burgers, Farolito’s, The Taylor Co. Tap House, or Perini Ranch, I guarantee they wouldn’t have regretted the trip. But instead, one bad cafeteria meal somehow left Abilene’s name etched in history as a symbol of bad choices. I say, "Not fair, right?"

The Paradox Should Be Renamed

Am I the only one who thinks Harvey got it wrong? If anything, the paradox should’ve been named after Coleman, since that’s where they started. Or maybe it should’ve been the Arlington Paradox or the Alexandria Paradox, after all, Harvey spent far more time in Virginia than he ever did in Texas. But no, he chose Abilene, a city he barely knew.

If Harvey had actually lived here, he would have seen that Abilene is far more than just a stop on a regrettable road trip. It’s a military town, an innovation hub, a business-friendly city, and home to some of the best food in Texas. We aren’t defined by one family’s bad Sunday decision, we’re defined by our resilience, our community, and our Texas-sized pride.

Flipping the Script

Maybe,  just maybe, It's time to redefine what the Abilene Paradox should actually Stand for. Instead of it symbolizing poor decision-making, or personal regret, it should stand for:

• Texans who stick by their choices
• A city built on resilience and innovation
• A place that welcomes families, businesses, and the future of aviation (hello, stealth bombers at Dyess AFB)

So here’s my final thought:

Abilene doesn’t deserve to be the metaphor for bad decisions. Abilene deserves to be remembered for what it truly is, one of the best cities in the entire state of Texas.

Ironically, the cafeteria that sparked the Abilene Paradox hasn’t been in business for years. But Abilene? It’s still thriving, growing, and proving that it deserves a much better reputation than a metaphor for a bad decision.

Maybe next time, the world will get it right.