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Dolphins Trained to Kill are Armed, Dangerous and Currently On the Loose

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In case you didn’t have enough on your mind today, you can now add dolphins trained to attack humans with head-mounted guns and knives to the list.

According to Russian media reports, at least three trained “killer” dolphins have escaped from a Ukrainian naval base in the Crimean port of Sevastopol. The dolphins are specially trained to use knives and pistols strapped to their heads to attack enemy swimmers under water.

The former Soviet Union used trained dolphins as far back as the 1970s to locate and mark undersea mines as well as to attack enemy divers. Some of the former Soviet republics have apparently kept this military tradition alive and some reports say that trained dolphins have been sold to Iran.

The Ukranian military has denied the report of any escaped dolphins but, when you’re dealing with the type of trained killing machine that would make Dr. Evil proud, you can’t be too careful. So remember, if you’re heading to the beach for spring break, there could be things a lot more frightening than sharks and empty beer cans lurking in those waters.

Next: When Fire Breathing and Farts Collide

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