This Is What Lubbock Will Be Like When the Robots Take Over

We've been hearing a lot in the news lately about artificial intelligence potentially becoming so powerful that it could eventually get out of control and, in a worst-case scenario, wipe humanity out completely...

And, unfortunately, this isn't just something your paranoid uncle, who may or may not be hitting the sauce, is saying on Facebook.

white and black no smoking sign

In 2023, over 300 AI researchers and other experts signed a statement saying that reducing the risk of extinction from AI should be a major global priority, just like pandemics and nuclear war. Some names on that list include AI pioneers Yoshua Bengio, Geoffrey Hinton, and OpenAI's Sam Altman, as well as Google DeepMind's Demis Hassabis.

And, well, the warning signs haven't exactly stopped...

Leaders are warning about the possibility of a runaway "intelligence explosion" if AI systems become capable of rapidly improving themselves...

It's kind of like a terrifying science fiction movie, except...this isn't a movie.

Robots Will Have A Hard Time Taking Over Lubbock

blue and black robot toy

So...

Let's assume the worst.

The robots become smarter than us.

They become self-aware.

They decide humanity sucks and needs to go.

Then, they arrive in Lubbock.

That's when things get complicated.

Immediately.

The robots may be prepared for resistance, but they won't be prepared for a city where someone will drive 25 miles per hour in a 45.

They can try to take control of the city.

But they'll probably get stuck behind endless road construction.

They can try to establish a base on Tech campus.

But there will be MANY complaints about the parking situation.

They can attempt to communicate with us.

But they will have a pretty hard time understanding our accents, especially with a mouth full of tamales.

Eventually, they will discover game-day traffic, the Loop at 5 pm, and the wind.

They will also quickly learn that Lubbock residents are fully prepared to argue with a self-checkout machine for 15 minutes if it happens to utter "Unexpected item in the bagging area." 

Imagine what they'd do when faced with a robot that's actually threatening...

Read More: Zombie Prom Comes To Patterson Library In Lubbock

At some point, I imagine they will look at one another and say something like,

"We could take them out, but should we?"

"Not sure. This is a bit more than we are prepared to deal with."

And that, my friends, is how Lubbock will save the human race.

It won't be through military intervention, or superior technology, or some kind of scientific breakthrough. We will simply drive them friggin' bonkers.

Annoy them to hell until they kick rocks.

They'll leave town in a hurry. Maybe even board a spaceship and head to another planet, where they will tell the others, "Don't go there. They don't even have an In-N-Out; the traffic is ridiculous, the wind is terrible, and everyone has a big, obnoxious opinion about something."

I dunno.

I'm reaching, guys.

We may be screwed.

But I don't see us going down easily...