Drunken Thief Was Too Bombed to Rob Little Caesars
Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn’t go quite the way he had (probably not) planned.
It got off to a good enough start — Hopkins stumbled into a Lexington, Ken., Little Caesars and declared ‘This is a stick up,’ but because he was stinking of alcohol and slurring his speech, the pizzeria employees just told him to get out.
Drunk as he was, Hopkins complied with the order, and not long after he was picked up the police.
He is being charged with public intoxication but is being spared charges of attempted robbery, because Hopkins didn’t actually have a weapon. And also because he’s a drunken fool — which may have got him into a bad situation, but also seems to have helped avoid the worst consequences of it. You know what they say — God loves drunks, fools and Crazy Bread.