You may have heard that ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ had a ridiculously huge opening weekend at the box office. You may not have heard, though, what people were saying as they left the theater after seeing this cinematic masterpiece. Well, we’re here to fill you in on what fans were muttering:
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have announced they are divorcing, putting an end to rampant speculation about their relationship. The tabloids have had a field day about the state of their marriage for months, with rumors he cheated on her with several women spreading faster than you can say “Dashton.”
But is that the real reason they’re going their separate ways? We think not. Here’s the real inside scoop on why this Hollywood super-couple has decided to call it quits. Add your reasons in the comments.
Bradley Cooper has been named PEOPLE Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. He says that the first thing he thought upon winning the honor was, “My mother is going to be so happy.” Sure, that’s what he says, but when you’ve been told you’re the hottest of the hot, there are other things that race through your mind, first.
Thanks to our Columbo-like detective work, we’ve actually uncovered the first 11 thoughts he had when learning the news that no man on earth is better looking than he is:
Brad Pitt raised eyebrows earlier this week when he said that he’d like to stop acting when he turns 50 in three years so he can do other things with his time. What exactly would those other things be, though? Glad you asked. We have some suggestions.
After 28 years hosting ‘Live!,’ Regis Philbin will walk away from his longtime gig Friday. That’s one hour each day we’ve grown accustomed to Reege invading our living rooms that’s now gone. So, how can you fill that time? Let us help you:
Kat Von D claims ex-fiancé Jesse James cheated on her with 19 women. James, of course, cemented his reputation as a cad after details of his serial philandering while married to ex-wife Sandra Bullock came out. While the entire world knows James will stray like a lost cat, we think the ‘Monster Garage’ host is an ideal match for any single woman looking for Mr. Right. Here’s why:
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have announced they are expecting their 20th child, due in April. The Arkansas couple and stars of TLC’s ’19 Kids and Counting,’ clearly love children, so while they busy themselves sprucing up their nursery yet again, we thought we’d honor their 20th bundle of joy with — what else? — 20 jokes about having such a large family.
While the ‘Mean Girls’ star has been sentenced to 30 days, officials expect she’ll most likely serve six. Lohan has to turn herself to begin serving her stint in the slammer by November 9, so while she preps for her return, we thought we’d help look at the lighter side with these jokes:
Some people collect stamps, some collect coins. Trump collects enemies. The real estate mogul counts Rosie O’Donnell, Martha Stewart, Jerry Seinfeld, Marc Cuban, Bill Cosby, President Obama, Robert De Niro among the stars he’s found himself bickering with over the years. So, congrats to you, Jon Stewart – you’re merely the latest inductee into this not-so-exclusive fraternity.
To honor the Donald’s beef with Stewart and his chronic penchant for feuding with anyone who so much as breathes air he wanted for himself, here are 10 jokes all about the real estate mogul:
After weeks of speculation, Jessica Simpson has announced she is pregnant. It’ll be the first child for the singer/actress/designer/former reality star and her fiancé, former pro football player Eric Johnson. In lieu of sending them a gift to help them decorate their nursery, we decided to give them the gift of laughter.
So, has the shock of Kim Kardashian divorcing Kris Humphries after 72 days of wedded bliss worn off yet? Good thing the news broke on Halloween because we were so depressed, we needed to drown our sorrows in bucketfuls of fun size Milky Ways.
Like many a divorcee, though, we will soldier on. Let’s start the healing process with 14 jokes about Kim and Kris’ marriage.
So, make sure your checkbook is balanced, you’ve turned off all the lights and filled your dog’s bowl with water. But, if we’re going to leave this world, why not leave with a smile, right? Here are 10 jokes about the rapture. Think you’ve got good ones? We’d love to read them, so feel free to include yours below.
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