Today brings a new message from your friends at Monarch Sciences, a totally legit operation that’s completely on the up-and-up. No way they‘re irresponsibly experimenting with genetic mutation and irradiation, no siree, they‘re just another innocent chemical processing corporation trying to make an honest buck in a shrinking workplace. (The chemical processing industry has gotten rough ever since the recession, and mom-and-pop conglomerates are taking the hit especially hard.) The truth, as anyone who saw the Godzilla remake from 2014 already knows, is that Monarch Sciences was responsible for the creation of the thunder lizard, and now they’re back up to their usual business.
Our children won’t believe us when we tell them that there used to be doubt over whether a female-fronted superhero movie would work at the box office. Even at present, the days of studio executive hand-wringing over whether audiences would deign to shell out their precious $11.75 to see a film in which a woman — who was not a man — did superhero things feel favorably remote. For director Patty Jenkins and her marble-carved star Gal Gadot have proven beyond all debate and rage-choked internet commenting that women are perfectly capable of making a whole mess of money during blockbuster season. And now it’s official.
Tomas Alfredson ain’t prolific, but he sure is good at what he does. It’s been six years since the Swedish director’s last film, the brilliantly slippery espionage yarn Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, and before that, he put a novel spin on the vampire flick with the gentle, poetic Let the Right One In. The news of another project from the elusive filmmaker is cause for great commotion, and the newly revealed trailer for that film — frost-choked serial killer thriller The Snowman — reminds us why. It has a lot to do with snow, and a lot to do with Michael Fassbender.
Black Panther is so close, and yet so far. We got a banger of a trailer, complete with emover-sporting Michael and an unlikely yet perfect soundtrack cut from Run the Jewels. At San Diego Comic-Con later this month, Marvel will show out in full force, and there’s no doubt they’ll tantalize audiences in Hall H with some preview footage from the film. And to accompany that, Entertainment Weekly has run a new cover spread on Ryan Coogler’s upcoming film with new photos of the royal court ruling the Black Panther’s home nation of Wakanda. All this — for a movie that isn’t out until mid-February.
When someone says someone else fights like a girl, it’s intended as a diss with a nice dollop of misogyny on top. But the next time some jerk comes at you wth that nonsense, you can turn it into a compliment by yelling, “Oh yeah, well Charlize Theron does all her own stunts and could snap your spine in half like a pretzel rod, so there!” and run away weeping. In the light of a new behind-the-scenes video from the Atomic Blonde production, it is the ultimate comeback. For Charlize Theron does indeed fight like the girl (er, woman) she is, and that’s one hell of a way to fight.
Shia LaBeouf gets arrested a lot. And not “a lot” relative to law-abiding namby-pambies like you or me, I mean “a lot” relative to a street-level Adderall dealer. There was the incident in 2005, where he got an assault with a deadly weapon charge after threatening his neighbor by driving directly into his car, the 2007 arrest outside a Chicago Walgreens, the 2008 drunk driving accident and subsequent license suspension, the 2011 bar fight, the 2014 disorderly conduct charge outside Studio 54, a public intoxication arrest in 2015, and then a minor harassment violation back in this most recent January during an anti-Trump demonstration. That’s quite the rap sheet, but it’s like the old judicial system proverb goes: “Seven strikes and you’re out, unless you’re famous and wealthy, in which case just try to be more careful next time.”
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