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10 Ways to Traumatize Your Kids This Halloween — The Funnies

Halloween
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Halloween isn’t just about candy and haunted houses—it’s about creating lifelong memories with your kids.  You can take them to a pumpkin patch and carve a pumpkin, you can pick out a design together and then build the best costume ever. There are so many wholesome activities to share with your darling children.

Or … you could traumatize them. Let’s not forget, Halloween is also about playing magnificent pranks against your naturally unsuspecting kids. Here are 10 ways to traumatize them this Halloween:

1. Chainsaw wake-up call.

2. Convince them that Great Aunt Martha is actually a vampire.

3. Hide under their beds and jump out when they’re getting ready to go to sleep.

4. Take some ground beef and tell your kids it’s human meat, then force them to eat “people tacos.”

5. Carve your pumpkin to look like their homeroom teacher.

6. Tell them you need the family cat for a “special Halloween stew.”

7. Tell them the mailman got bit by the family dog, then turned into a werewolf.

8. Peel a bunch of grapes, blindfold your kids, then make them stick their hands into a “bowl of eyeballs.”

9. Make them watch ‘Twilight’ every day.

10. Tell them you ate all of their Halloween candy.

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