Emerald Catron

Check Out the 2012 USA Men’s Basketball Team Blooper Reel
This is the most wholesome blooper reel we’ve ever seen. There’s no cursing or violence. It’s almost less of a blooper reel and more of a “look, basketball players can make friendly jokes” reel. I mean, nobody even hits their head on a door frame, which we secretly assumed happened to basketball players all the time.

Man With the World’s Deepest Voice Can Only Be Heard by Elephants
Every day you should find something to be grateful for. Today we’re grateful that the man with the world’s deepest voice uses it mostly for singing ‘Amazing Grace’ and never uses it for making the brown sound. ‘South Park’-ers known what we’re talking about. Although the idea that Tim Storms could do that if he wanted to probably adds to the excitement of seeing him in concert.

Military Starts Naked Salute Facebook Group for Prince Harry
Well, if what happens in Vegas isn’t going to stay in Vegas, as many people as possible should probably put naked pictures of themselves up on Facebook to make it okay. It’s maybe not how we would deal with the Naked Prince Harry Fiasco of 2012, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening right now.

Olympian Aly Raisman Turns Down Marriage Proposal, Keeps the Ring (Pop)
If you’re planning to win the hand of an Olympic gymnast who doesn’t even know you, it’s going to take a little bit more than some candy, we just learned. A fan got down on one knee (good start) and pulled out a Ring Pop (aaaand there it goes) before asking Aly Raisman if she would marry him. Mighty presumptuous of this guy, although, to be fair, she did take the candy.

Adorable Girl Says Goodbye to Every Mall Goer, Somehow Isn’t Annoying
Children have some sort of magical power to do things that grownups can’t — if some jerk stood on the balcony overlooking the escalator and waved and said goodbye to every single person who went by, it could easily ruin your trip to the mall. For some reason, though, when little Chloe does it, everyone smiles and waves back and it’s completely adorable.

RIP Neil Armstrong — Fellow Astronauts Mourn His Death
Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, passed away this weekend from complications caused by recent heart surgery. He was 82 years old.

Jerry Nelson, the Man Behind the ‘Sesame Street’ Count, Has Passed
It’s a sad day for lovers of ‘Sesame Street’ everywhere — Jerry Nelson, the puppeteer who gave Count von Count his voice passed away Thursday of unspecified causes at the age of 78.

Asking for Directions Left Beanie Baby Billionaire Tipping $20,000
Try not to get too depressed that the Beanie Baby guy is a billionaire — at least he’s using his money for good, rather than evil. Ty Warner recently gave a woman who was trying to raise money for a medical procedure $20,000 for giving him directions.

Michelle Obama’s Health Kick Hits Home — Bo Is On a Diet
When the First Lady says she’s serious about healthy food, the First Lady means she is serious about healthy food. Even the First Dog, Bo, is not beyond reproach, and, after packing on a few pounds, is now on a diet. Yes, the dog is on a diet.

Oxford Online Adds Ridic New Words to Dictionary
Thank the merciful heavens! Now we can say “micropig” as much as we want without having to endure the crushing shame of using a word that isn’t a legitimate word. Micropig is just one of dozens of terms that became official as part of ODO’s most recent quarterly update of new words and definitions, which includes “soul patch,” “hosepipe ban” and “vajazzle.” Finally! Our Thursday night dinner conve

Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney In the Smartphone Showdown Game of the Year
It’s not everyday that you get to see Mitt Romney smacked in the face with a hot dog or President Obama trounced with a balloon sword… Until now. Thanks to a new, free phone game called Vote!!!, you can see it every day. It might seem like they’ve lost sight of the point of democratic elections by making the two presidential candidates go toe-to-toe, but the folks at Epic Games could actually be o

Dramatic News Reporter Adds Some Much-Needed Excitement to Bus Crash Story
Tired of regular, boring, emotionally unavailable news? Well then, this is the video for you because this melodramatic news reporter is very involved with his work. He’s emotional. He’s gesturing wildly. He’s smacking his notepad for emphasis. You really get the sense that it’s not every day a bus crashes into a house in Montgomery County, Maryland. And when one does, it is a BIG deal.