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“Rock Of Ages” and “Magic Mike”, 2 Movies You Couldn’t Pay Me To Go See [VIDEO]

Rock of Ages - Tom Cruise

You’ve heard the phrase, “you couldn’t pay me to go see that movie”, right? This weekend, I saw previews for two such movies. These are two movies that are expected to do very well at the box office (mainly based on the cast, I guess), so I’m not here to make any prediction on the flop of two movies that nobody went to see.

I’m talking about “Rock Of Ages”, starring Tom Cruise and “Magic Mike”, featuring Matthew McConaughey. Both are great actors, and I’ve loved most of their movies. But I have zero interest in either film, and these two movies don’t strike me as anything you could pay me to see.

My reasons? Simple. For “Rock Of Ages”, I’m not a fan of musicals in the first place, and I personally would like to limit Tom Cruise’s singing to lip syncing Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock And Roll” in Risky Business. I heard him bragging on E.T. or something that he has a 4-octave voice. Good for you, Tom, but your actual voice isn’t good for singing, whether you have an opera-quality vocal range or not. The original artists of the songs he sings in “Rock Of Ages” make Cruise sound like a mediocre karaoke singer, judging from the previews.

My reason for not wanting to see “Magic Mike” is obvious, isn’t it? Matthew McConaughey is famous (or infamous) for taking his shirt off in his films. Fine. Whatever. It’s become such a joke that I’m sure there’s some kind of “Matthew McConaughey took his shirt off” drinking game. I suppose it was only a matter of time before they made an entire movie dedicated to this ritual. Enjoy, ladies. I’m going to pass.

I’m not a film critic, and I’m not going to try to tell you that these are the two worst movies ever, or that you shouldn’t go see them. I wish them both good luck at the box office, and hope you enjoy them if you decide to go. But don’t save me a seat, even if it’s got a $20 bill taped underneath.

These aren’t the first movies you couldn’t pay me to go see. My personal list includes (among many others) “Glitter”, starring Mariah Carey, “Bird on A Wire” with Mel Gibson, and the American Idol movie “From Justin To Kelly”. Clearly, none of these movies were made with me in mind.

What are some of the films on your list of movies you couldn’t be paid to go see?

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