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Cinderella
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Watch the ‘Cinderella’ Trailer Before it Turns Back Into a Pumpkin

Disney’s big kick right now is revisionist versions of classic fairy tales. ‘Sleeping Beauty’ became ‘Maleficent,’ a sympathetic look at the supposedly “evil” witch. Last Christmas’ ‘Into the Woods’ followed numerous fairy tales to find the unhappy endings after their “happily ever after.” Even ‘Frozen’ reconfigured numerous classic fairy tale tropes (the handsome price was secretly [SPOILER ALERT] the bad guy, and the film’s true love story was actually between a pair of sisters). What’s most surprising about Disney’s new live-action ‘Cinderella’ is how unsurprising it looks; it seems totally unlike those films in its old-school vibe.

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stevebusceminuckythompson
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Witness the Overwhelming Sexiness of ‘Fifty Shades of Buscemi’

The first reviews of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ are out and most are pretty mixed on the film and whether or not it delivers on the white-hot sexuality of the original novel. But here is one film that absolutely brings the raw animal magnetism: ‘Fifty Shades of Buscemi,’ a mashup that inserts the great star of ‘Boardwalk Empire,’ ‘Fargo,’ and so many more into new film opposite star Dakota Johnson.

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Sinister Six Concept Art
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Despite Marvel’s Spider-Man Reboot, Sony Still Developing a ‘Sinister Six’ Spinoff

After the news that Marvel and Sony had come to an agreement to co-produce a new series of ‘Spider-Man’ movies, while also introducing the character into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, one of the items we immediately turned our attention to was Sony's planned ‘Sinister Six’ spinoff, which was deep into development and was teased all through last summer’s ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2.’ Director Drew Goddard (‘The Cabin in the Woods’) had been working on the film since last year (he even left Netflix’s ‘Daredevil’ series to focus on it) with a November 2016 release date planned. The future of that film seemed very tenuous this morning following the big announcement, but now comes news that the film is still in development at Sony.

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Category: Entertainment, Movies Tags:
Black Panther title
Marvel
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Marvel Shifts ‘Thor 3’, ‘Black Panther’ Release Dates to Make Room For Sony’s New Spider-Man

By now you already know that Spider-Man is joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe as part of a new deal between Marvel and Sony. (By now you’ve also “SQUEEEE!”d about fifty times.) But this pact has ramifications beyond just the Wall-Crawler’s cinematic future. With Sony putting a new solo ‘Spider-Man’ movie on the release calendar for July 28, 2017, that’s necessitated some shuffling of Marvel’s own upcoming movies.

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Category: Entertainment, Movies Tags:
Kingsman: The Secret Service
20th Century Fox
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‘Kingsman: The Secret Service’ Review: The Goofy James Bond Throwback You Didn’t Know You Needed

For decades, people have made fun of Roger Moore. Moore starred in more James Bond movies than anyone else, but his entire twelve-year, seven-film run is widely regarded today as a goofy, cartoonish disaster. After Moore retired from the role following 1985’s ‘A View to a Kill,’ the Bond franchise refocused, growing darker and more serious. Now 007 belongs to Daniel Craig, who’s as stern as Moore was cheeky. Craig’s Bonds (and the Jason Bourne movies that helped inspire their solemn tone) have been so hugely successful, that there is an assumption that over-the-top spy movies like Moore’s wouldn’t work in 2015. ‘Kingsman: The Secret Service’ proves they can.

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Universal
Universal
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‘Neighbors 2’ Moves Into the 2016 Release Calendar

This is sort of a surprising-not-surprising news item. Universal is readying a sequel to last year’s phenomenally successful comedy ‘Neighbors,’ which starred Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne as married thirtysomethings whose suburban bliss with their newborn baby is spoiled by the arrival of a rowdy frat house next door. The first movie didn’t exactly leave a bunch of loose ends for Rogen, Byrne, and Efron to continue into another film, and comedy sequels don’t have a great track record. But the first movie did gross over $268 million worldwide against an $18 million budget. Hence the not-surprising part: Universal’s announcement that they’re working on a ‘Neighbors 2,’ which they hope to have in theaters by next summer.

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‘Do the Right Thing’ (1989)
Universal
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The Many (Many) Faces (and Hairstyles) of Samuel L. Jackson

IMDB.com lists 159 acting credits for Samuel L. Jackson over a career that’s spanned more than 40 years. Jackson’s as versatile as he is prolific; though he’s likely best known for his action films and his flair for language (and especially profanity, his skills as a chameleon might be underrated. He’s made 160 films and television shows and looked like 160 wildly different people. Few actors seem to delight in the specifics of costuming, hair, and makeup as much as he does, and few have exhibited a wider array of hairstyles, facial hair, and wardrobes. From the earliest days of his career all the way up to next week’s ‘Kingsman: The Secret Service,’ nobody’s worn silver hair, a kilt, or exaggerated octopus-style eye makeup quite like Samuel L. Jackson. In honor of his great achievements in outlandish onscreen fashion, please enjoy this gallery spotlighting just a few of his many sartorial highlights.

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Screen Shot 2015-02-04 at 10.12.00 AM
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The ‘Magic Mike XXL’ Trailer Isn’t Long, But Size Doesn’t Matter

It’s great when a movie understands exactly what it is. ‘Magic Mike’ was an intelligently made Steven Soderbergh movie about life in Great Recession America. But it became a huge surprise hit in the summer of 2012—grossing $167 million worldwide against a budget of just $7 million—because it had Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, and an assortment of the finest man-candy in Hollywood bumping and grinding with their shirts off. The marketing for ‘Magic Mike XXL’ seems to have an innate sense of this. The first poster is a picture of Tatum with his shirt off, pointing at his crotch where the word “Coming” is suggestively placed. And this teaser trailer is basically Channing Tatum (and the rest of his team of shredded male strippers) dancing, stripping, and then dancing with their shirts off. I smell box-office gold. Wait, no, that’s baby oil and Muscle Milk. But those things smell a lot like box-office gold when they’re in ‘Magic Mike XXL.’

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Category: Entertainment Tags:
Jupiter Ascending
Warner Bros.
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‘Jupiter Ascending’ Review: The Wachowskis Descend Into Sci-Fi Silliness

Episode 415 of ‘Seinfeld’ was called “The Movie,” and it ended with Jerry delivering a monologue about the guy in every group of friends who can’t follow the plots of films and invariably spends them whispering confused questions to their seatmates (“Why did they kill that guy? I thought he was with them? Wasn't he with them? Why would they kill him if he was with them? Oh, he wasn't with them. It's a good thing they killed him!”) ‘Jupiter Ascending’ turned me into that guy. If you can explain the plot of this baffling movie in all of its intricacies, you are either a genius or one of the Wachowskis who wrote and directed it. It’s hard to believe that a movie that contains this much exposition could also be this confusing, but it does and it is. Something went horribly wrong here.

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Raiders!
‘Raiders!’ / Courtesy SXSW
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SXSW 2015 Film Lineup Includes New Films From Will Ferrell, Amy Schumer, Melissa McCarthy and More

The dust has barely settled from the 2015 Sundance Film Festival, and already we’ve got a look at the lineup for the 2015 South by Southwest Film Festival. After an initial announcement that included opening night film ‘Brand,’ about comedian Russell Brand,’ things have filled out really nicely with a ton of promising-sounding selections.

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‘Ted 2’ Trailer: Seth MacFarlane’s Spunky Teddy Bear Returns

So that clears that up: You absolutely can drench Mark Wahlberg in semen in a trailer approved for all audiences. And you can also throw a Cookie Crisp into a man’s butt crack. Thanks for maintaining your consistently high standards, MPAA!

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Netflix House of Cards Season 2 Photos
Netflix
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Kevin Spacey To Star in Film About a Man Who Becomes a Cat

An afternoon update from our We Swear We’re Not Making This Up Desk: TheWrap reports that Kevin Spacey, Oscar-winner for ‘The Usual Suspects’ and ‘American Beauty,’ will next appear as the star of a comedy called ‘Nine Lives.’ The “high-concept comedy” is described thusly (and, again, we didn’t make this up):

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Category: Entertainment, Movies

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