Emerald Catron
Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
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News Anchors Can’t Handle How Dumb Ryan Lochte Is
We would feel bad for Ryan Lochte, except, you know, he won all those Olympic medals. These news anchors are so astounded by his amazing stupidity while promoting his E! reality show that as soon as the interview is over, they began laughing uncontrollably. "How are they going to put together 13 weeks of p
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The Craziest Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read
We are once again so very thankful that we went to a school where women with unshaven armpits actually believed they turned into enormous dragons at night, men would show up at the dining hall without pants on and fraternities and sororities were not allowed. Because those folks make Armpit Lady seem like an Ad Council poster child for normalcy.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Gets the ‘Entourage’ Treatment
The sweet spot in the Venn diagram of people who like 'Entourage' and people who like 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' is a pretty good size, so we wonder how this video is only just now being made. Seriously, why did it take so long for somebody to put 'Entourage' character Turtle together with 'TMNT' and come up with this?
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Our Favorite Ways Anonymous Has Trolled Westboro Baptist’s Facebook Page
In case you missed it, the ever-horrible Westboro Baptist Church announced they would be picketing at the funerals of the people who died in the Boston Marathon bombing. The church, if you don't know, likes to go around to funerals and say that God hates America for allowing gay marriage, and the death that attendees are mourning is just his wrath. It's basically the definition of awful. Well, the "hacktivist" group Anonymous was having none of it.
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Proof That Justin Bieber Is Rapidly Devolving
Our friends at PopCrush noticed something about #1 Anne Frank fan Justin Bieber and have put together a very convincing argument. It seems that The Bieb's constant slouching is indicative of a larger problem -- he's actually devolving into a lesser being.
"But you guys," you might be think
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Bossy Toddler Gives Dad the Business
Little August doesn't want help buckling her car seat. In fact, she recommends that you "worry 'bout yourself!" We love it. It's like the polite toddler version of "why don't you mind your own business, jerk?"
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19 Fails That Probably Cost Someone Their Job
Listen, we get it. Of all people, we get it. Sometimes you let an errant comma slip. Maybe you don't notice that something is a sentence fragment because you're riding the waves of hangover nausea. We understand that sometimes being an editor is rough, but how the how do you wind up with a headline that looks like it says "Rapefruit Good for every meal"?
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If Stuff From the ’90s Was Made Today
If we're going to wax all nostalgic about things, let's not even compare the way things used to be to the way things are now. Let's instead lament how HORRIBLE it would be if things from the past were invented today.
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12 People Who Did an Excellent Job of Quitting
We saw this amazing resignation cake and got inspired. Not to quit our jobs, but to admire the ways others have in the past. Our most "creative" quit was telling the owner of a Chinese buffet over the phone that they couldn't yell at us anymore, because we quit so there. Compared to these, that just isn't that impressive.
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Let’s All Stop Wondering What Amanda Bynes Is Up To
Are you ever sitting around by yourself thinking, "Hey, I wonder what Amanda Bynes is up to?" You need to stop. Nothing good comes from wondering that, because this video she recently posted to Telly (whatever that is) is the answer.
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When Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber Swap Faces You Wind Up With a Pretty Cute Couple
It turns out when you swap the faces of Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift, you wind up with a pretty cute lesbian couple. Thanks for the heads up, Reddit.
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Psy Destroys Another Justin Bieber YouTube Record
You might have thought everybody was so sick of 'Gangnam Style' that they never wanted to see or hear Psy again. It seems that is not the case. 'Gentleman,' Psy's first release since 'Gangnam Style' took over the world last summer, immediately smashed a record held by Justin Bieber for most video views within 24 hours of its debut. Like, he seriously crushed that record.