Contact Us
Make My Homepage

14 Crazy Headlines We Might Miss Thanks to the Death of Newspapers

Daily Life In Athens As Greece Prepares To Go To The Polls newspapers
Oli Scarff, Getty Images

Newspapers have been in a steady decline for awhile now, but now it seems that the industry is knocking on death’s door or at least looking up the address to death’s house on Mapquest and trying to find its way there by asking someone on the way.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune is moving towards full digital distribution by laying off a huge portion of the staff and cutting back its publishing schedule. Just imagine the important headlines we could miss in the coming days when newspapers have gone away altogether.

1. ‘Gasoline Now Costs $10 a Gallon or One Healthy Human Organ’

2. ‘Greece Collapses, Gyro Imports on Hold’

3. ‘Mitt Romney Threatens to Sing in Public Again’

4. ‘Donald Trump’s Hair Has Nuclear Weapons’

5. ‘Masturbation Causes Obesity’

6. ‘Soccer Now America’s National Pastime’

7. ‘Exposure to Newspaper Ink Increases Risk of Herpes Contraction’

8. ‘Obama Releases Birth Certificate to Prove He Was Born on Earth’

9. ‘People Carrying 16 Ounces Sodas or Larger Now Considered to Be in Possession of Weapon of Mass Destruction’

10. ‘White House Inhabited By President Bieber, Vice President Bieber Clone’

11. ‘People Magazine Names Louie Anderson ‘Sexiest Man Alive’’

12. ‘Study Says You Suck’

13. ‘Congress Passes Something’

14. ‘ABC’s ‘The View’ Now Airing ‘After Dark’’

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for KEAN A-List quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive KEAN A-List contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.